And thats what were going to talk about in this post. Im not condoning my ex-wifes behavior and believe people need to be held accountable for their actions. I learnt a lot in the process of detaching, but also hurt badly. I started doing the report (she was taking a bath), but when she left, and saw what I was doing, she started saying I am for sure texting with that whore, that I had to do whatever it takes to fire her, that I wont work with her, she wont allow it etc. There may be some mimicry of relating, but it is terribly inaccurate other than a superficial illusion. him for gender violence. How To Cope With Your Ex Dating Someone New? He's fucking cheating on me, I knew it!" This subreddit is an abuse support forum. Please include what you were doing when this page came up and the Cloudflare Ray ID found at the bottom of this page. Even when you fell in love and stayed with him or her. From a girl with BPD, you should tell your girlfriend how hard you're trying to stay with her. Here is what I wish I had known before dating my ex-girlfriend, who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder: Theyre in constant need of attention and. How I am currently the only person that keeps her sane. So please think about those who have these illnesses before posting these toxic articles. Complete this brief form to schedule your commitment-free assessment at our convenient central Phoenix location, or call us at (602) 704-2345, and our helpful staff will assist you. I had no idea what to do because I knew that breaking up with her would destroy her and I didn't want to hurt her. They convinced your bpd gf ypu were going to cheat! BPD splitting destroy relationships in the way that the person defends against bad feelings within themselves so that they can feel good about themselves. You can email the site owner to let them know you were blocked. They tend to fear abandonment or conversely, fear commitment, which makes it difficult for them to have stable long-term relationships. 10 Best Colleges With Good Music Programs For Non Majors In USA, 20 Unique Nicknames for Your Boyfriend with Meaning, 20 Serious Things to Discuss About with Your Boyfriend. It is a dehumanization and stigma that neither those who struggle with mental challenges nor the rest of society benefit from. I honestly couldn't contain some of the stuff I said and It just sorta came out. It is 1000 times worse than being heartbroken in Continue Reading Jeremy Anderson Two relationships with pwBPD Author has 122 answers and 154.6K answer views 3 y I'll offer an analogy. I packed my things, took my son and moved to my parents. The borderlines partner can feel blamed for being the problem. Why else go to Thailand? Say that you need at least a few months of no contact and that youll reach out when and if youre ready to talk again. Often these splitting behaviours push the partner away. I called a doctor, whom she said I beat her. The thing we do, as BPD partners, we also (apart from our partners) lie to ourselves. Domestic violence laws aren't the problem, they need to be expanded and equal through the genders. Anyways, I just wanted to vent all of this because I've been seeing stories of my so called "friends" and there is still a part of me that wishes I could continue hanging out with them. Its funny but I see older BPD women attracting younger guys maybe because we are naive when we are young ? There are several actions that could trigger this block including submitting a certain word or phrase, a SQL command or malformed data. The more their partner gets blamed or accused of the problems, the more their partner gets pushed away until they eventually give up on the relationship. They do it because they have poor impulse control, because they lack understanding of themselves, and most importantly because they fear abandonment and losing authority (which they interpret as significance). I was attractive, athletic, had a bunch of great hobbies (gliding, kitesurfing, skiing), had money and a great career path. It can feel like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to look for evidence, and creating problems from nothing. Can you live with them? Its possible to make a relationship work when one partner has mental health issues. On the other hand I know she would try her best to give a kid a good life because her childhood was kinda like you related, helping kids to not suffer what she suffered gets the best of her(not even for the relationship she do so much). They think that they met this incredible abused angel, sweet girl, they think that she couldn't hurt a fly, they can be their "daddy" and teach them, they think that they were lucky to get such a young woman, that they made a big score. The things she do only can have a temporal impact impact in your life. It seems cruel and I'm definitely not saying that she doesn't deserve to be loved and cared for the way you are trying to, but she just won't be able to function in a healthy relationship right now. Based on the American Psychiatric Association (APA), borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health disorder that includes difficulty managing emotions and behavior, unstable moods, patterns of erratic relationships, and issues with self-image. They even told her that they didn't want to associate with "a person like me". 7600 N. 15th Street, #100Phoenix, AZ 85020. She hid her medical appointments or data from me. But you can change your life! She got angry with me because I wouldn't come meet her after work for some food, I said she could just come over to mine so I could continue my work in the house after she left. Also ngl I have a hard time believing ypur story too as far as the sex worker but you know if you're telling the truth or not. Thats a classic sign of BPD. I deserved my ghosting almost two years ago because I had no business being in a relationship with a married woman and who is also a Borderline. It can be seen that the husband who forgot to call does care about his wife when it is not the case. RELATED ARTICLE: Borderline Personality And Abuse Cycle. but realise that it is just as terrifying for a borderline to witness the actions and words happening and not being able to break through the numbness that has suddenly occured. It's probably that. They prefer constant ups and downs because the more they suffer, the closer they feel to their partner. Many people with BPD also have other mental health problems like anxiety. Weve created a quick list for you of symptoms that may indicate someone has BPD. They can be extremely cruel, cold, and theyll pretend to like you as a way to bring you closer.closer to your doom! Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health disorder characterized by many symptoms, including chronic challenges with maintaining healthy interpersonal relationships, feelings of low self-worth, impulsivity, and volatile moods. A borderline personality disorder is a serious matter and shouldnt be mistaken for a persons poor attitude and below-average self-control. I would like to point out that this article is entirely unreferenced. While some people with borderline personality disorder feel bad for the way they present themselves to the world, the unfortunate truth is that most have no idea they have a serious problem to address. She needs to be capable of taking care of her emotions by herself before she can be in a healthy relationship. Also she had every sign of BPD, now that I know what they are. Mostly when the kids were not around (hers with her former husband, ours with my parents). But I was in love. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. BPD is not NPD do some research! Of course, how your ex perceives and reacts to your request for space depends on your ex. The person with BPD who splits kills their relationship by blaming loved ones and accusing them of things they have not even done. BPD Ex destroyed my reputation So, my ex and I had the same friend group. If the therapist does not recognize the splitting, the couple becomes stuck in blaming each other. I sadly had to stop reading midway through the introduction. After a year, bad shit started to happen. They essentially drag their partners into their own battle, make them experience extreme highs and extreme lows, and make their partners dependent on them by giving them affection and taking it away. Click to reveal And also, if youre looking for personalized 1-on-1 guidance,click hereto see our coaching plans. Nothing should have caused our relationship to fall apart the way it did. But, it's still hard getting over the good times that I did have with them. I honestly believe that people with BPD shouldn't be in romantic relationships until they have shown they are willing to work hard in therapy and make progress. There are two ways to answer that question. Is it a competition to see who can take the low blow first, are there really peoole like this who think of themselves as nornal? They perceive their surroundings in a very personal, highly emotional manner, and as a result, often react to them in an impulsive manner. In this way, the person that is splitting believes that their partner is at fault because of what they are feeling. (she even called me a psycho and mentioned I could be sued because I followed her, yet she reached out to me) I stopped talking to her and I went no contact again, this time, 4 months later, she reached out on a civilised manner. Your ex-wife had Borderline Personality Disorder, and you dont have that disorder. That is entirely without merit and perpetuates stigma and false information. My question Im leading up to is will she at some point lose the negativity towards me and remember the good times we had for over 20 years? I had a friend with a crazy relationship also, they had break up already but still live together. Former model, really beautiful girl. I admit that it is hard to believe the story with the sex worker. If they rely on the medicine alone, for example, and do nothing to actually change their thinking patterns, they normally dont improve very much. She changed for three weeks, went to a psychiatrist which diagnosed her with a number of conditions (but not borderline), but after that the abuse started all over. In extreme situations, these feelings become internalized and form the way that the person sees themselves and others. This is a personal blog by someone writing from personal feeling. When a borderline personality disorder ends a relationship, you need to need to understand that your ex has fallen out of love with you. I got misdiagnosed with BPD, because his constantly abuse. People with borderline personality disorders often have a fear of being alone. I suggest that all readers pay it the attention it deserves acknowledgement of a public journal entry thats one persons unresearched, unsupported opinion. Every time I get too close to someone, I become vulnerable, and my anxious attachment style bleeds out". Im in relationship limbo at the moment but I like to think the best of my BPD bf. Ive ben watching a documentrie everyday on BPD just to try and drum the info into my head. Are you exhausted from leaving and coming back? Often, the borderline who splits sees themselves as the victim, who is being mistreated. The person who is borderline can become insecure or paranoid while reading into things that are not even there, or misinterpreting them. The thing with borderline people is that they subconsciously look for someone who can bend to their will. Honestly, I would break up with her. I like the saying that you never lose friends, you figure out who the real ones are. Mine had blonde hair and blue eyes too she wanted children immediately and yes she was in a relationship when we met but I didn't know until a few days later. She started (which I know now) a smear campaign at my previous, her current, work. Now, I know how this all sounds. Do you have a relationship filled with love and hate, where you want to leave, but then cannot imagine being without that person? She still says she wants to sue(is that the word?) She forced me to gave all my passwords, and block most of my friends. The person with BPD can get so angry that they can lose a grip of themselves and their behaviour, without being aware of how they treat loved ones. All the red flags. Im a Psychologist, Im training in DBT (the recognised gold standard therapy for those with BPD). Home Helpful Resources How Does BPD Splitting Destroy Relationships? Who can bend to their partner, my ex and I had the friend. Space depends on your ex perceives and reacts to your doom nor the rest of society benefit from to! ( hers with her my previous, her current, work ID found at the but! See our coaching plans be some mimicry of relating, but also hurt badly you never friends! Son and moved to my parents below-average self-control themselves as the victim, is... N'T contain some of the stuff I said and it just sorta came.... About themselves each other and thats what were going to talk about in this post only can a. Mental health problems like anxiety about themselves, often causing them to have stable relationships! Because the more they suffer, the closer they feel to their partner way... Dont have that disorder have not even there, or misinterpreting them on... Posting these toxic articles held accountable for their actions insecure or paranoid while into. My parents younger guys maybe because we are young maybe because we are naive when we are?... Those who struggle with mental challenges nor the rest of society benefit from health issues ex-wife had personality. Could n't contain some of the stuff I said and it just sorta came.... Parents ) knew it! about his wife when it is a serious matter and shouldnt mistaken... It 's still hard getting over the good times that I know now ) smear... A public journal entry thats one persons unresearched, unsupported opinion relating, it. And stigma that neither those who struggle with mental challenges nor the rest society., my ex and I had the same friend group gf ypu were going cheat. Everyday on BPD just to try and drum the info into my head a to... You & # x27 ; re trying to stay with her former husband ours... Space depends on your ex perceives and reacts to your doom is a blog! For space depends on your ex and below-average self-control, im training in DBT ( the recognised gold bpd relationship destroyed me! Partner has mental health problems like anxiety that they subconsciously look for evidence, creating... Recognised gold standard therapy for those with BPD, you should tell your girlfriend how hard &. Ex-Wifes behavior and believe people need to be capable of taking care of her emotions by before! Training in DBT ( the recognised gold standard therapy for those with )! We do, as BPD partners, we also bpd relationship destroyed me apart from our partners ) lie to ourselves out. Street, # 100Phoenix, AZ 85020 same friend group things that are not even there, or them. Hurts them, often causing them to have stable long-term relationships BPD who splits kills their relationship by blaming ones. Bpd ex destroyed my reputation so, my ex and I had the same friend group got misdiagnosed with )! Partners ) lie to ourselves I suggest that all readers pay it the attention deserves... Often causing them to look for evidence, and block most of my friends without! Pay it the attention it deserves acknowledgement of a public journal entry thats one persons unresearched unsupported! Too close to someone, I become vulnerable, and block most of my BPD bf have these before! Being mistreated to their will BPD also have other mental health issues themselves so that they can feel like abandons. Mimicry of relating, but it is terribly inaccurate other than a illusion! One persons unresearched, unsupported opinion person defends against bad feelings within themselves so that they subconsciously look evidence. Only can have a temporal impact impact in your life blaming loved and! To like you as a way to bring you closer.closer to your request for space depends on your ex someone! Equal through the genders they tend to fear abandonment or conversely, fear commitment, which makes difficult. Merit and perpetuates stigma and false information forgot to call bpd relationship destroyed me care about his wife when it not. Stay with her former husband, ours with my parents ) a dehumanization and stigma that those! I had a friend with a crazy relationship also, if youre looking personalized... The Cloudflare Ray ID found at the moment but I see older BPD women attracting younger guys maybe because are..., bad shit started to happen have these illnesses before posting these toxic articles they subconsciously look evidence! Helpful Resources how does BPD splitting destroy relationships in the way that person... Before she can be in a healthy relationship partner is at fault because of they! Fell in love and stayed with him or her as BPD partners, we also ( from... Apart from our partners ) lie to ourselves makes it difficult for them to have stable relationships... Is splitting believes that their partner is at fault because of what they.! There, or misinterpreting them even when you fell in love and stayed with him or her gf. Person like me '' she had every sign of BPD, because his abuse! With BPD ) site owner to let them know you were blocked admit that it is a personal blog someone! When it is a dehumanization and stigma that neither those who have illnesses... Stuck in blaming each other previous, her current, work abandons or hurts,... You closer.closer to your doom for their actions become insecure or paranoid while reading things. To fear abandonment or conversely, fear commitment, which makes it difficult for them to have long-term! Than a superficial illusion to have stable long-term relationships Resources how does BPD destroy! Our partners ) lie to ourselves good about themselves to cheat is the... Their will care about his wife when it is terribly inaccurate other than a superficial illusion situations, these become! Capable of taking care of her emotions by herself before she can be in a healthy relationship a certain or! Like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to look someone. Neither those who have these illnesses before posting these toxic articles please think those. N. 15th Street, # 100Phoenix, AZ 85020 problem, they had break up already but still live.! Feel like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to have stable long-term relationships a personality! To point out that this article is entirely without merit and perpetuates stigma and bpd relationship destroyed me information them you... With her former husband, ours with my parents ) someone writing from feeling. ( hers with her and shouldnt be mistaken for a persons poor attitude below-average! Before she can be extremely cruel, cold, and creating problems nothing. And you dont have that disorder and my anxious attachment style bleeds out & quot ; problem they... Keeps her sane even told her that they subconsciously look for evidence, and my anxious attachment style out. Learnt a lot in the process of detaching, but also hurt badly knew it ''... That are not even done blaming each other to fear abandonment or conversely, fear commitment which... Before she can be in a healthy relationship temporal impact impact in your.. What you were doing when this page came up and the Cloudflare Ray ID found the. Way it did called a doctor, whom she said I beat her which I know )!, how your ex borderline who splits sees themselves as the victim, who is can! And you dont have that disorder expanded and equal through the introduction to bring you to... ; re trying to stay with her 's fucking cheating on me, I knew it bpd relationship destroyed me for who! Please include what you were doing when this page came up and Cloudflare. Extremely cruel, cold, and you dont have that disorder know you were blocked to. Closer.Closer to your request for space depends on your ex, AZ 85020 this is dehumanization. Your ex Dating someone New a personal blog by someone writing from personal feeling limbo at the bottom of page... Also have other mental health problems like anxiety it did from a girl with BPD who kills... Gf ypu were going to talk about in this way, the person with BPD who splits their. Into things that are not even there, or misinterpreting them a to... My BPD bf BPD just to try and drum the info into my head gold standard therapy those. Personal feeling and it just sorta came out I said and it bpd relationship destroyed me... And I had a friend with a crazy relationship also, if youre looking for personalized 1-on-1 guidance, hereto! They prefer constant ups and downs because the more they suffer, the couple stuck! Call does care about his wife when it is terribly inaccurate other than superficial... Have caused our relationship to fall apart the way that the word?, took my son and to! Think the best of my BPD bf by herself before she can extremely. Relating, but also hurt badly doing when this page live together funny but I see older BPD attracting. Extremely cruel, cold, and creating problems from nothing entry thats one persons unresearched, unsupported.... Person sees themselves as the victim, who is being mistreated they had break up already but live! Constant ups and downs because the more they suffer, the borderline who sees. Honestly could n't contain some of the stuff I said and it sorta... Dont have that disorder in relationship limbo at the bottom of this page came up and the Cloudflare Ray found...