Part of what can be so difficult is that it feels like the same patterns over and over again, right? Im still work in process so Ill keep you posted ;). Going back on them to better myself. I feel like I need to keep growing, not going backwards. Oh and to top it off I have been waiting for therapy for over 7 years despite two specialists attempts and was recently told they cant help me due to my situations despite me telling them I really need therapy for my relationships as I cant cope with the constant control because I am an independant person who sees family and friends regularly. Talk to your partner about your abandonment anxiety and how it impacts you. I never thought I would be where I am today. I do the same anyway, because I need to tell my thoughts to someone, because it helps And she, like me, gets really stressed over the texts I send her and the things I tell her. Our communication broke down completely we became two strangers under one roof. Firstly this is so reassuring reading everybodys stories. Well thats a lie you should only say that stuff unless your in a relationship or have anxiety Find comfort in vulnerability, but dont let anxiety be your only bonding moment as a couple. Last week I finally faced up to what I have by going to the local gp I now will see him every week and also have booked four sessions of therapy. Somehow I am reading this, and between the lines i can detect intentions, i hope you are not one of those that uses her Anxiety to get whatever she think she should get.I hope that you are not using it as an excuse to get back to your Ex,i met few girls that would date a great guy and break him down and use him to get back to the same ex that hurted you before,somehow i feel it about you .Sorry, And?So do you want to tell me that you are aware of your problem and you wont do anything?You do know that therapy+group therapy + psychologists meds can help to get you back as good as new.Breakups are tough, and I saw women breaking up with my best friends and destroying them without blinking, so its not that only men can be, many women specially mastered the art of bsing,ive seen it with two of my best friends who met girls with a story similar to you,and they got dumped brutally because the two didnt have the heart to stop and think about the consequences,and did not bother to have responsibility on the lives of two wonderful men that tried their best for them,tried and did everything they could to make them feel safe and secure,both never touched meds and only one of them went to see a therapist,but they used my friends to complete that fraken hole in their souls where everything start to be normal and it scared both of them,so instead of talking about it and seeking therapy ,they cut them off and drove one to suicide-thats right:suicide.is this your story? If I could fix this I would feel enough, and we could go back to being perfectly happy again. 1. I had a moment of clarity. And we even started making love again after2weeks. She loves me bur the anxiety just keep hurting me she does believe I love her. I had many horrific relationships in the past but had never been in love until I went to college, I met the love of my life the very first day and weve been inseperable since. As I was reminded recently, you be somebody others want to be around and itll happen. While Im in the midst of the paranoia and anger and fear, theres no real way of stopping me. No drugs, and I want to keep it that if possible. You read too far into texts. My thoughts were very random and all over the place. You wonder about being alone or being with another partner. Anxiety causes you to reject things that are not dangerous and avoid things that might benefit you. If theres no contact, itll get easier. You will most likely feel like your partner is always on guard or having nervous habits like, for instance, constantly tapping their foot, pacing around the room, or fidgeting with their hands. The ultimate thing which is destroying our relationship is, that she is convinced Im having illicit affairs whilst working away. My ex-boyfriend of 2 years had anxiety and was over-reacting to things that I thought werent big enough to split us apart. I wouldnt be alive without him and thats the real depressing part. He is my rock. Ive never felt the pain that tjis has caused anywhere else in my life. I am tired, depressed, do not feel like I can move. When this happens, we often feel withdrawn and empty. It is very hard for a perfectionist to share his or her internal experience with a partner. Up until very recently, i blamed my partner not understanding me and not showing empathy. Dont waste your time if she doesnt want to change, you will be damaged for a long time. When i was having a panic attack i called him and asked him for help but he said he cant because hes pissed at me, instead he just made me feel worse talking about everything i have done wrong, as if i didnt know that already. Remember to laugh and play with your partner. I do believe that I am a good man, but sadly my anxiety and depression gets in the way of everything. In the beginning she would get upset, saying I was checking out other women, so I would get upset with her for thinking that, we would argue and then she would just forget about it, keep in mind my wife is a person that wants attention and anytime she feels Im not she gets upset. She didnt understand or comprehend that it was nothing like that, i would tell her to understand that its anxiety and that there was nothing going on, at first she hesitated and didnt care, all she cared about was that I was cheating on her that thats why I would get nervous or make a face. The other worst bit is that I feel no one understands what goes through my brain on a semi bad to a really bad day and that im just a drama queen that wants the attention. Turns out hes been really depressed and stressed himself and I hadnt noticed :( Clearly communicate your expectations. People who are weak will always leave a relationship when they dont know how to communicate effectively instead of excepting the way a person is and loving them unconditionally without flaws. From me I say seek strength in ur relationship, build on areas u can build on, bring back joy in anyway u feel possible and know that you always have the power to get through thisyou just have to believe in your self. I want to be happy, and I want my Wife and kids to be happy. So I decided to stay thinking things would be different that she would understand now, which she did, shes been supportive, we do have a lot of issues but she was being supportive, but now that my anxiety is back at a all time high I can sense shes getting annoyed and I dont blame her, nothing is going on and I dont get why at times I get nervous to talk to her or to look at her without having this damn fear, I need help and I just hope I get better because life is not fun right now, I love my wife and kids but this anxiety is getting in the way. Communicate your struggles with your partner 3. She has said she wants to meet up with me recently. Both of you have lost respect for each others values and lost the desire to grow together.7. The depression was set off by my birth control, which is a pretty common thing to occur. Connection of Relationship Support. Wishing you all the best. You developed trust issues and cannot forgive and rebuild your trust.8. How Anxiety Interferes With Relationships How To Keep Anxiety From Ruining Your Relationships 1. I truly love her but I need my health and my son needs my focus. Rather than change my PIN and risk raising more suspicion, I tried my best to reassure her and asked for my privacy to be respected. After I said I do not want to talk/text if well never see each other again. I dont sense she is experiencing this same conflict or attachment that I am still very much going through. And this all needs to move very slowly, very delicately, and very lovingly. We spent two years together, having moments where we absolutely loved each other and others full of doubts, bad moods and drifting away. You cant do everything for your partner and see them get better at managing their symptoms on their own. Some adaptive some maladaptive. I have experienced relationship anxiety for years. Last year, she came back from her psychologst and said the following: The doctor is not sure if its good to leave the last pills. I hope that you consider finding a therapist who sees your feelings as legitimate and worthy of acknowledgement! Without too much of a life story, we were both responding to the same life situation. and I have had nothing show up on my full body reports, endocrinologists, gyneacs, to explain why I tend to get mysterious illnesses related to stress. The unpredictability of her actions has caused me to be on edge. During this time of my last semester, I feel a lot of pressure because I want to do my best but I also expect myself to be there for my partner. He shuts me out when I need him the most. It is very much working, thanks for the encouragement. Also, I know that there are many excellent articles out there. But the anxiety just attacks him so much, its so so hard to see the wood from the trees. Now the anxiety doesnt stop. Then I noticed I wasnt performing my best at work and I had consulted with bf and my manager to take a sick leave. You constantly want to take a break from each other.4. I am a caregiver and cannot go back to work either, but he wants me to take over. My girlfriend has been addicted to different kinds of pills (Sleeping pills, Benzos, etc.) You, on the other hand, havent done anything wrong so dont fall into a codependent role type position. Communication is key to a close relationship. She has got anxiety and she is always unsecure of her decision to be with me in spite of the fact that I didnt do anything wrong. It will require much effort and patience for a partner with anxiety, but everything will be worth it. I tried my best to hold it together for as long as I could. the anxiety made her selfish, self center and always thinking of herself alone. She can also become overly critical or show passive-aggressive behavior. Along with my partners feelings, I feel this lead to our core beliefs locking heads. Experiencing joy requires a sense of safety or freedom. anytime i tried to talk to her she will just say they are ordinary friend sometime she even told me that nothing I can do about it that shes enjoying her life.i tried to break-up with her but in some days shes wil be at my door step crying this will make me feel love and pity her again so I will just beg her even when shes the one at fault but I will do it just to settle the issue between us just because I love her and I want to protect our relationship but now I dont know why I cant forget about her shes still cheating but I cant forget about her when ever I told her Im done with the relationship after some days or a week I will still go to tell her sorry I dont know whats wrong with me I want to forget her but I cant shes killing me inside but her love has totally won my heart but shes hurting me badly like sometimes now when I caught her cheating I feel like I should hurt my self last week I ended up in the hospital because I dont believe what she did and still claiming to be right..now she told me shes pregnant for me last week but how can I be sure Im the one because shes sleeping around she make me lose trust in her but I still love her please everyone here I really need your advice because I dont know what to do anymore I still want her cos of the true love I have for here at same time please everyone tell me what to do so that I can forget about her cos now when ever Im thinking about everything she did to me I cry bitterly I even feel chest pain now I just pray anything should not happen to me cos the heartbreak is killing me please I need advice I want to forget about her shes very wicked to hurt me this is too much I can take it anymore but I still love her, Dear John, that sounds like a really difficult relationship, I can see how talking to a professional might help you process and move on in a healthy way. 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